On the night of my high school graduation, my friends and I rented a karaoke bar.
It was nice. Typical high school stuff, things that we’d done hundreds of times in snatches of time between classes, in breaks hours-long in the student lounge; someone eating too much pop-corn, someone belting out a pop song. One friend smirked at me from across the room while two others leaned towards her, and I knew, without a doubt, she was telling them about the time I threw up during soccer try-outs. I stuck my tongue out at her and grinned. Typical high school stuff.
Except we’d never get to do it again.
I still remember the urgency humming at the fringes of that night, lurking right around the corner. One girl was going to a different country the very next day; a bunch of my classmates would also be gone in a matter of weeks, the rest of their time reserved for their family. Everyone had flights to catch and universities to get to, stuff to finish and plans to finalize. So did I.
But it struck me as a little heart-breaking, when I looked at my friends that night by the glow of the outdated television set, that it was the last time it was going to be that way.
That was two years ago.
It’s not like I’m still sad, wrote the girl who is posting this on Valentine’s Day. I love college, and I have new friends—and I keep in touch with my old ones, as much as time permits. I was right, however, that things were never the same.
Here’s something I’m slowly learning: Things are never the same.
The night of graduation was an exaggerated high point, but what happened then is what happens every day. In college, I have the privilege to meet so many wonderful people from a variety of courses, and many become my friends; but because of classes, commitments, and university in general, it’s hard to keep in touch with them all, at least in the same level of closeness that I want. There are always going to be long absences. There’s always going to be something that changes between me and the people I love when I’m not looking, simply because I’m never going to have the capacity to look everywhere at once.
That’s not a bad thing, I think, even though it can be scary. Everything changes, especially people. Most especially friendships. In the end, it’s a matter of love and adaptation.
But it still changes
Ever so slightly
Daily and nightly
In little ways
When everything stays
What do you think about shifting friendships? Any thoughts? Maybe it’s a little weird for a first post, but it’s on my mind at the moment since I haven’t been able to talk to one of my closest friends in what seems like forever. It’s not really a big deal, but it would be nice to have a little more perspective. 🙂